Destiny · Father · Life · Memories

The Power of Small Wins: Why Progress Beats Perfection

Life doesn’t always hand us a steady rhythm. The last eight months of my life have been a blur of grief – I lost my dad and two young brothers, three blows that hit harder than I could’ve ever prepared for —a gut punch that left me questioning fairness, wrestling with anxiety, and feeling the weight of depression!!!

Anxiety and depression became uninvited guests, lingering in the corners of my mind. There were days I didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone show up for work or pretend I had it all together.

Energy? Gone.

Mental state? Far from perfect.

But life doesn’t pause, does it? The world keeps spinning, responsibilities pile up, and somehow, life demands we keep going.

That’s when I stumbled—accidentally, messily—into the power of small wins. I’m not here to preach some polished self-help mantra. This isn’t about “hustle harder” or chasing perfection. It’s about what I’ve learned when perfection felt impossible: progress, even the tiniest step, can be a lifeline.

The Weight of Perfection

Before this year, I was all about the big goals. The flawless execution. The picture-perfect outcomes. I’d beat myself up if a project wasn’t 100% right or if I didn’t hit some lofty target. Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been there too stuck in the trap of thinking “good enough” isn’t enough.

But grief stripped that away. When you’re reeling from loss, perfection isn’t even on the table. I couldn’t aim for a grand slam; I could barely swing the bat. And yet, life demanded I keep going. So, I started small—really small.

One day, it was just replying to an email I’d been avoiding. Another day, it was getting through a meeting without breaking down. These weren’t victories I’d have celebrated before. But in the fog of anxiety and depression, they felt monumental.

Why Small Wins Matter

Here’s the thing: small wins aren’t just baby steps—they’re proof you’re still in the game. Science backs this up. Researchers like Teresa Amabile have shown that making consistent, meaningful progress—even in tiny doses—boosts motivation, creativity, and resilience. It’s not about the size of the win; it’s about the signal it sends to your brain: I can do this. I’m still here.

For me, those little victories became anchors. Finishing a task didn’t erase the pain, but it gave me something to hold onto. A reason to try again tomorrow. And over time, those small wins started stacking up—quietly, imperfectly—until I could see a path forward.

Progress, not perfection

Progress Beats Perfection Every Time

Perfection is a myth anyway, right? It’s this shiny carrot we chase, thinking it’ll make us happy, successful, or “enough.” But it’s exhausting—and when life throws curveballs, it’s downright paralyzing. Progress, though? Progress is real. It’s messy, it’s human, and it’s within reach—even on the hardest days.

I’ll be honest: I’m still figuring this out. Some days, my small win is just getting through without spiraling. Other days, it’s a work project I’m proud of. But I’ve stopped waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect me to show up. I’m learning to celebrate the fact that I’m moving at all.

Your Turn: Start Small, Win Big

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck—whether it’s grief, burnout, or just the weight of expectations—give yourself permission to start small. Forget the grand overhaul. What’s one tiny thing you can do today? Reply to that message? Take a walk? Jot down an idea. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be progress.

Because here’s what I’ve learned: those small wins don’t just keep you going—they build something bigger. They’re the foundation for coming back to life, one step at a time.

Progress lights the way

So, here’s my challenge to you: celebrate a small win today. Share it in the comments if you want—I’d love to cheer you on. Let’s stop chasing perfection and start building momentum instead. Because even on the darkest days, progress is power.

Memories

29 years …. guess some wounds never heal……… miss you bhayia

29 years later ….. still miss your presence in our lives!

The memories of the day are still vivid in my memory and every time I wish for a different ending …. wishing we had not gone on that picnic, …….  
wishing we had not gone on that boating trip, ………..
wishing you had not decided to swim, …………….
wishing someone had stopped you …
wishing someone could have saved you …………..
wishing we could have done something …………

I don’t know how different our lives would have been had your life not snatched away from us and have so many what ifs …………..

You would have joined army….. no doubt would have had a distinguished service record … just wished I could have seen you in uniform  and felt so proud that I am related to you!

Always wondered who you would have married …. would you have fallen in love or mom & dad would have chosen someone for you (well looking at our family history later would have been quite unlikely  🙂 ). Where would you have met her? What fun your wedding would have been? What kind of person your wife would have been? How many children you would have had?

Where all you would have been posted and how many times we would have visited you?
Would mom and dad have been different had you been around?
Would we  have made different career choices had you been around to guide us?

Wish you were here with us to celebrate our successes and holding us in our failures.
Miss you …. and wishing you peace and happiness wherever you are … hopefully in next life we would meet again. ….. love you bhayia.

Insight · Life · Memories

Seven times have I despised my soul – Kahlil Gibran

Excerpt from “Sand and Foam” from Kahlil Gibran:




Seven times have I despised my soul:
The first time when I saw her being meek that she might attain height.
The second time when I saw her limping before the crippled.
The third time when she was given to choose between the hard and the easy, and she chose the easy.
The fourth time when she committed a wrong, and comforted herself that others also commit wrong.
The fifth time when she forbore for weakness, and attributed her patience to strength.
The sixth time when she despised the ugliness of a face, and knew not that it was one of her own masks.
And the seventh time when she sang a song of praise, and deemed it a virtue.

Reading this made me retrospect about the times I have despised my soul. 

So here is my list (and I am sure the number would be much greater than 7 ) :
  1. When she shamelessly basked in the biased affection of my dad and didn’t give any thought about how my siblings may feel about it.
  2. When she was afraid to voice her opinion against the wrong, just because she didn’t want to be on the bad books of people who meant world to her.
  3. When she said hurtful words just to win an argument.
  4. When she forgot to thank God for all the blessings in her life and when she never missed any chance to complain to God about any thing bad in her life.
  5. When she was judgmental about people and forgot to look for same flaws in herself.
  6. When she knew about her weaknesses and still instead of working on that just let made a fool of herself.
  7. When she forgets to keep in touch with friends and family and just blames the hectic schedule.
  8. When she was too stubborn to express her real feelings because she didn’t want to be vulnerable.
  9. When she chose to just offer empty words of sympathy when somebody needed real help.
……. will keep on adding as and when I remember more instances.

Life · Love · Memories

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,

I could spare an extra minute or twoto stop and say “I love you,” instead of assuming, you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,

well, I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance to make everything right.
There will always be another day to say our “I love you’s”,

And certainly there’s another chance to say our “Anything I can do’s?”
But just in case I might be wrong and today is all I get,

I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget,
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day, that you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear,
Take time to say “I’m sorry,” “please forgive me,” “thank you” or “it’s okay”. And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.

Six months have passed since I lost my mother-in-law and I have so many regrets………. She jst left without saying good bye or giving us chance to tell us what she meant to us. Had I known I had so little time with her……….. There were so many things left unsaid, so many things to learn from her…… because i always though I have all the time in world………………..

Father · Memories

Dad – Thanks for spoiling me

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I have always been “daddy’s girl” 🙂

The picture above captures the essence of my dad’s love for me so beautifully.  So many layers and emotions for me in one single frame :

Dad giving me wings to fly while providing a security net in case I fall ;
Teaching me to hold my head high whatever the situation is (even before I learnt to stand/walk);
Urging me to push my limits and conquer my fears
Giving me springboard in life
Watching me closely for any discomfort so that he can hold me back in his arms
His pride in my silly confidence showing in his smile
And least of all – always to well dressed 🙂

Since as far I remember – among the five siblings – I was his favorite. He would openly spoil and pamper me. He would tell everyone that i was his pacemaker. I have no idea what made him to pick up me as his favorite, but I am so glad he did so. I mean I couldn’t have tolerated had he been so partial to any of my siblings and really wonder how my brothers and sisters took it. Well, I know — they hated me. But I really loved each moment of his pampering and partiality.

It was open secret in our home – anytime anyone wanted anything from dad, I was the one they would bribe and then I would convince dad. everyone was afraid that the way he spoilt me I would turn out to be total brat, But I guess I turned out just fine.
He was so over protective about me. Had my father had his way – he would have wrapped me in bubble wrap and kept in some safe place.
What I am today is what my parents have taught me – but I guess I have picked most of my dad’s qualities (though I would have given anything to be generous, loving, unselfish like my mom). He made me feel so special — every moment of my growing up years – and I guess I carry that feeling even now.

Thanks Dad for picking me up for spoiling.

 

Life · Memories

Things that change my mood for the better

  • Relaxing with my head in my mom’s lap.
  • Harpal’s warm comforting embrace.
  • Rainy day, book in hand and cosy bed covers.
  • Monsoon showers and drenching in them.
  • Playing with my niece and nephews.
  • Family gatherings, late night out with cousins playing “dumb charades” and remembering childhood pranks.
  • Winter sunny afternoons in my garden with a novel in hand.
  • Univ days – sitting in canteen and gulping tea and Maggi noodles.
  • Hot oil hair message from mom.
  • Henna on my hands and its fragrance.
Memories · School days

Money can buy you school admission but school time memories are priceless!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I was reminiscing the school days and so many happy memories came rushing back ……………………..

  • Canteen and bread pakodas with that yummy chutney,
  • Mrs Mathur and her famous 7″ high heels,
  • Anshu Mathur and his childish pranks,
  • morning assemblies,
  • house changing ceremonies,
  • playing “langdi tang” on the badminton court,
  • rushing from the examination hall to play – Mrs Mathur grabbing us and forcing us to review our answer sheet (and finding out , yes, we indeed missed answering 1 question),
  • Surdershan mam.
  • Girija mam,
  • Urdu/drawing teacher – Kashmiri Lal sir and his indiscriminate beating to whole class (and though scoring 99% – not able to read/write even 1 word of urdu)

…………………………… innumerable memories and priceless too 🙂

Friends · Memories · School days

Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?

Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?
(Richard Bach)

Does geographical distance actually matter in friendship? Doesn’t mental nearness counts more than the physical proximity?

Recently got back in touch with few of my precious friends back from high school. … Manpreet (the sweetest friend I ever had), Rahul (craziest guy I have ever met) and Rohit (not possible to describe him in any words).

Ironically all four of us are in different parts of world so the face to face reunion seems distant possibility right now. But moment I got in touch with them, felt last 17 years distance vanishing in an instant. Felt had never lost touch with them and was able to approach them with same ease as 17 years back.