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Shadow

Sometimes it seems as if a shadow is cast on you from nowhere. Broken away, it falls in your path, and you have to carry it along with you to whichever part of the world you go-in search of the entity from which it broke off.

Shadows have a reality longer than is recognised. Faces too have a reality. But for how long? Shadows for as long as you like. For a lifetime, if you will.
Years come and go. They do not wait. Some shadows, on the other hand, hover around us with an existence of their own.
Shadows are related to entities; they are subservient to entities. Yet some do not fit into any such pattern.

Amrita Pritam – Revenue Stamp

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Why we divide life into fragments


I wonder why we divide life into fragments, the business life, social life, family life, religious life, the life of sport and so on? Why is there this division, not only in ourselves but also socially – we they, you and me, love and hate, dying and living?

I think we ought to go into this question rather deeply to find out if there is a way of life in which there is no division at all between living and dying, between the conscious and the unconscious, the business and social life, the family life and the individual life.

These divisions between nationalities, religions, classes, all this separation in oneself in which there is so much contradiction – why do we live that way? It breeds such turmoil, conflict, war; it brings about real insecurity, outwardly as well as inwardly.

There is so much division, as God and the devil, the good and the bad, ‘what should be’ and ‘what is.’

J. Krishnamurti
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Thanksgiving… a day of gratitude


If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough

 Meister EckhartHow easy is to say these two simple words – “THANK YOU” but how many times we just ignore saying this to all those who matter – all those we have taken for granted,  all those who have given so much to us in this life , all those who keep on loving us, helping us, blessing us and making our life easy by just being there!

Would like to take this day to acknowledge their contributions in my life.

  • My parents – my MOM who in the age of birth control and family planning still decided to bring me in this world and bore my pain for 9 months; my DAD  for being most important person in my life and unabashedly spoiling me 
  • My husband/best friend – for treating like God’s blessing to him and loving me unconditionally, for always being there , for believing in me, being my biggest support and my being my biggest critic
  • My parent-in-laws who treated and loved me more than their own daughter. For always believing in me and giving me wings to fly.
  • Blessings in my life – my maternal aunts and uncles – who treated like their own daughter and made me feel so special all through my life
  • My paternal aunts and uncles who were always there when I needed them and even when I didn’t need them 🙂 . Having this assurance that they always have my back is the best feeling in world
  • My siblings (including my cousins and brother/sister-in laws since we were raised as one big extended family) for the best support system in the world. I don’t know what I would have done without all of you spoil brats in my life – for being my partners-in-crime or teasing me to death. My eldest sister for my biggest support system and my youngest brother for teaching me what selfless love is.
  • My awesome niece and nephews – for the awesome photo ops 😉 – for bringing my childhood back , for teaching me what innocence and unconditional love is all about! 
  • All my ancestors – who converted to Sikhism and gave me opportunity to be born in this fearless warrior community which has shaped my personality to large extent.
  • All my teachers who have shaped my thought process and pushed me to challenge my limits
  • My friends – the soul connections I have been able to discover over all these years – all those who are still in touch and continue to inspire & motivate me and even those with whom  I have lost touch – your purpose in my life for that defined time period is something I am thankful for and thanks for crossing my path.
  • My mentors – who helped me chart my career and bring out the potential in me which i never thought existed. My superiors in Eclipse Systems & Grundfos – who taught me what it really means to be a leader, to push my limits and to take any challenge heads on.
  • Thank Almighty power GOD for blessing me, always having my back and showering me with love and blessings of the kind souls in my life.

 THANK YOU!

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The Pervasiveness of Loss – Kafka and the Doll

Franz Kafka, the story goes, encountered a little girl in the park where he went walking daily. She was crying. She had lost her doll and was desolate. Kafka offered to help her look for the doll and arranged to meet her the next day at the same spot. 
Unable to find the doll he composed a letter from the doll and read it to her when they met. 
Please do not mourn me, I have gone on a trip to see the world. I will write you of my adventures.

This was the beginning of many letters.
When he and the little girl met he read her from these carefully composed letters the imagined adventures of the beloved doll. The little girl was comforted.

When the meetings came to an end Kafka presented her with a doll. She obviously looked different from the original doll. An attached letter explained ‘My travels have changed me.’

Many years later, the now grown girl found a letter stuffed into an unnoticed crevice in the cherished replacement doll.

In summary it said:

‘Every thing that you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form.’

Coincidences · Notes to Self

Another book chooses me ………

The strange coincidence of books coming into my life at appropriate time continues…. there have been multiple instances of books “finding me” or “choosing me” at appropriate time (and especially during my travels to Europe.)

I have written about my previous experiences here and here.

This time its about “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank.

The Diary of a Young GirlThe diary of Anne Frank was published in the Netherlands on 25 June 1947. Now this is where it becomes weird coincidence.

I pick up this book on 22nd March (but note, do not start reading it till 23rd June) and on 27th March we make plans for summer vacation in Europe. I have absolutely no clue that book is set in Amsterdam. On my flight to Amsterdam (on 23rd June), I start reading this book and was awed by the coincidence.  I am again in same city while reading the book where it was written (and had reference). I fly out of Amsterdam on 25th June (on the day book was published).

The house in which Anne Frank and her family hid from the Nazis from 1942 to 1944. (Photo by DESK/AFP/Getty Images)
The house in which Anne Frank and her family hid from the Nazis from 1942 to 1944 in Amsterdam. (Photo by DESK/AFP/Getty Images)

From Amsterdam we traveled to Prague, Vienna and reach Budapest AND all this while I  am reading this book (which has such a close association with holocaust). I had absolutely no idea about the holocaust impact in Budapest and how many Jews have died here.  On our fourth day at Budapest, we decide to visit Dohány Street Synagogue which was just couple of blocks away from where we were staying. The young guide in Synagogue passionately explained us the history of synagogue and the  fate of Jewish in Budapest.  It was surreal experience for me visiting the synagogue and adjacent Jewish Cemetery ( The presence of the latter is quite unusual, as Jewish religious rules forbid the burial of the dead near places of worship. Its existence is due to the tragic events of World War II: in the extremely brutal winter of 1944-45, tens of thousands of Jews died in the Jewish Ghetto of Budapest, and over 2,000 needed to be buried in the courtyard of the Synagogue), which I think will have need lot of nerve to jot down.

THE BUDAPEST GHETTO

In November 1944, the Arrow Cross ordered the remaining Jews in Budapest into a closed ghetto. Jews who did not have protective papers issued by a neutral power were to move to the ghetto by early December. Between December 1944 and the end of January 1945, the Arrow Cross took as many as 20,000 Jews from the ghetto, shot them along the banks of the Danube, and threw their bodies into the river.

Only after visiting this site, I came to know that the apartment we have been staying in was in historic Jewish quarters!!!!

And I finish last pages of this book while I am leaving Budapest !!!!!!

577

Note to Self – need retrospection on what this book was trying to teach me and what life lessons my soul is yearning for in this lifetime. Coincidences can’t be so consistent and I have to learn to interpret these signs.  I have to seek out my calling!!!

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Oscar Wilde….rediscovering childhood love

I am not going to stop talking to him merely because he pays no attention. I like hear myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

Chanced upon Oscar Wilde’s short stories while on short stay at Prague.

(The Happy Prince and Other Tales (sometimes called The Happy Prince and Other Stories) is a collection of stories for children by Oscar Wilde first published in May 1888. It contains five stories: “The Happy Prince”, “The Nightingale and the Rose”, “The Selfish Giant”, “The Devoted Friend”, and “The Remarkable Rocket”.)

Don’t even remember last time I had read Wilde’s stories. What refreshing short stories and storytelling. Each story is narrated in such an engrossing yet comical style – surely to catch the attention of young readers. Each story though with such a strong moral has been told in a light breezy style.

Well, good-bye : I have enjoyed our conversation very much I assure you.

“Conversation indeed!” said the Rocket. “You have talked the whole time yourself. This is not conversation.”

“Somebody must listen.” answered the Frog, “and I like to do all the talking myself. It saves time and prevents arguments.”

“But I like arguments” said the Rocket.

“I hope not” said the Frog complacently. “Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions”

Reading his stories now bring a different perspective and better appreciation. Guess morals like common sense never becomes obsolete yet so rare to find 😀

Some of my other favourite quotes of him:

  1. Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
  2. Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth
  3. One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
  4. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
  5. The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it… I can resist everything but temptation.
  6. Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to.
  7. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
  8. Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.
  9. How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
  10. When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.
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Dad – Thanks for spoiling me

Param's avatarReflections

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I have always been “daddy’s girl” 🙂

The picture above captures the essence of my dad’s love for me so beautifully.  So many layers and emotions for me in one single frame :

Dad giving me wings to fly while providing a security net in case I fall ;
Teaching me to hold my head high whatever the situation is (even before I learnt to stand/walk);
Urging me to push my limits and conquer my fears
Giving me springboard in life
Watching me closely for any discomfort so that he can hold me back in his arms
His pride in my silly confidence showing in his smile
And least of all – always to well dressed 🙂

Since as far I remember – among the five siblings – I was his favorite. He would openly spoil and pamper me. He would tell everyone that i was his pacemaker

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